Here are some of the many well-intentioned but not so well informed common myths for personal change. I guarantee that as you read this, all over the world well intentioned individuals are promoting these suggestions
- Let’s dig deeper into the past
Frank Farrelly talked a lot about the psychotherapeutic archeological dig. “Therapists just love to dig deeper, but in all my decades of work, I never found this to in any way be a good use of time.”
- “it worked for me, so “ITS GONNA WORK FOR YOU”
Here the well-intentioned individual insists (despite all reasonable protests from the client and all evidence to the contrary) that the client adopts his enthusiastic suggestion. This often drives the client crazy and in some cases, creates an actual phobia of therapists.
- Let’s do the “X technique”
Here the therapist or coach insists on doing ‘the X technique” as that’s the one they were taught to do in their training course, so damn it that’s what we are GONNA DO, regardless of whether it is appropriate or not. This is also known as “NLP/Hypnotic aerobics”
- Let’s ANALyse the problem.
This is hours of fascination for the therapist or coach but usually the client drifts into a terminal state of boredom
- I’m gonna make the problem vanish with my hypnotic skills, are you ready?
Hypnosis can be useful but the whole instant hypnotic removal of the problem is not only a bit daft, it often makes the issue worse. Usually the lack of insight in proposing this is also reflected in the poor awareness of hypnotic language.
- The “lets chat and get it off your chest” approach. This is a friendly use of time which may include a refreshing herb tea beverage, but mostly the discussion is “about the issue” and no real change occurs
If you find yourself doing any of these behaviours PLEASE STOP. If you find anyone trying to do any of these to you RUN!!